I go into my inbox
and much to my surprise
I open up this e-mail
a naked girl with parted thighs

the only reason I opened it was
because the subject line
it said "re: Im sorry"
have I lost my mind?

this is only one
of two hundred fifty six
emails I got today selling
boobjobs, condoms and tricks

the next one, for breast enhancement
no thanks, its not my style
then how about some viagra
itll stand up and make um smile

the next one I hit delete
its obviously a porn site
promising beautiful girls
all of them soooo tight

the next one a diamond merchant
who just passed away
asking me for a transaction
Ill get a million dollars today

fast food restaurants
insurance, too
none of them
they havent a clue

no, I dont want your survey!
I havent got the time
please dont send me bullsh*t
please dont p*ss and whine

the list seems almost endless
I see a letter from a friend
oh heck, never mind
its from clearing house, oh wow "I win"

I could rant and rave
and go on some more
about this freaking spam
emails become a chore

well, Im halfway through
oops, here comes some more
oh, this one is different
on sale, new vinyl floor

weed whacker for your yard
conditioner for your hair
ahh, an embroidered pillow
for my favorite chair

how did you get my name
or even my address
I didnt solicit you
this, I must confess

none of these products
bigger boobs or anal cream
are anything I need
EGAD! I WANT TO SCREAM!

thank goodness for delete
and my little spam button
please quit spamming me cause
you aint ah getting nuttin